Shadows

One foot in front of the other
I watch my feet gobbling the pavement
I'm going forward
Trying to get ahead
And at the same time moving away
From what lies behind me
Stuck in the past
No longer threatening me
But trapped in ghostly whispers
Which loom in shadows behind me

As the sun beats down relentlessly
Slanting forms  lean lazily
On the concrete all around me
Forming jagged ,criss cross patterns
As they form a confusing web
Linking in and out of each other
As they stretch and twist
Spelling out my life
With its raging conflict of emotions

Disappointment is etched in the cracks
Like small tributaries branching off uncertainly
From the mainstream of what is my life
Then stopping abruptly - no warning
Only to splinter off and out
Down another small tributary
The result being the same

There are shadows of defeat
Formed by the slouching shadows
Like old men hunched over on park benches
Staring wistfully into a distant past
Where bad decisions were made
And hearts were broken repeatedly
And dreams were formed only  to shatter
Leaving a debris of regret and remorse
Visible to all
But useful to none

In the shadows I see reflections of myself
Different stages of my life
Shadows of fear
Shadows of despair
Shadows of surrender

Then beyond them rise the giants of positive reflections
Looming menacingly over the dark shadows
Promising to engulf them
In the solidarity of surety
Wrapping itself like a blanket over my life
Smothering the dingy shadows
That try to extinguish hope and faith
And the promise of a brighter tomorrow

So I'm enthralled
But I never succumb
To the shape shifting inconsistency
Of a life-story told in the shadows