Getting over oneself

We've all had pity parties. But ain't no party like my pity party.
Every guest is welcome.
Sadness jiggles in time to Regret as they do the 'bump-jive'.
Disappointment and Rejection sashay back and forth disrupting the rhythmic mob with their tango in the perilously small dance floor.
Every emotion is vying for a moment in the spotlight.
Anger gyrates slowly and seductively with Indignation.
Its mesmerising to watch.
Self-pity is at the door, ushering guests in , inconsiderately unaware of how squashed and uncomfortable the party is.
Depression links arms with Hopelessness and they bustle around ensuring that every guest feels welcome.
Frustration is at the turntables spitting out tracks to please the crowd.

"Life perfect
Ain't perfect
If you don't know what the struggle's for
Falling down ain't falling down
If you don't cry when you hit the floor
It's called the past cause I'm getting past
And I ain't nothing like I was before
You ought to see me now"  -
LESSON LEARNED - Alicia Keys

Its like she is reading my mail. Alicia...how do you know my pain???

I love the last line of that paragraph. But like the meantime, its a painful journey...line by line... getting to that last line.

The beginning of healing is getting over oneself. Just feeling your emotions instead of observing them and giving them  a name from a meaningless distance. Coming up close and personal, embracing and immersing yourself in them and really feeling them. No shame. Falling down. Hitting the floor. Hitting rock bottom.  Because unless you get to that gritty, nasty part of the pit you can't be disgusted enough to look up to see the way up and out of your 'pity pit'. And therein lies the path to getting over oneself. The path to re-birth.

So you can stand and say with pride " You ought to see me now".